How did I do it? Well, I wasn’t alone.
“How did I do it?” I often wonder to myself. How did I go from not being able to hug someone who loves hugs? How did I learn that you had to care more about other people’s interests to get friends? Well, I have a few to thank for that. My Mom with her prayers and guidance, always made a conscious effort to teach me about what to do, and not to do. She prayed for me, and encouraged others who knew what I faced to also. My main problem was I could repeat all her advice, but I had trouble actually putting it into practice.
Another person who helped me was my boyfriend back in high school, who in a trial by fire kind of way brought my flaws out, and corrected me in some oddities. Oddities being bringing up random subjects out of nowhere, or just saying silly things, or having silly fears. He also taught me that I was not soo odd as to never be able to attract a good guy. He told me a lot he thought I would make a good mother(which was news to me since I was and am a bit uncomfortable around kids-I want to be good with them though), and his friends said I made him happier than he had been in years. Why did we break up you may wonder? Well, because our spiritual differences were far too great. More on that later.
Friends and church leaders along the way have also helped me, though I had to learn the hard way a lot of times. For instance, people don’t like it when you obsessively talk about “Lord of the Rings” (or any other thing). I remember one of the nicest girls in the youth group saying about me once “oh, she’ll talk your ear off!”. Now, for me to annoy her was a feat.
Not being content in just going to church, and having my family was a bit scary for me, ok, quite scary. I actually had to venture out, and find people with like minds or at least interests, and earn their trust. Another obstacle to me finding friends, especially in the church, was my dogmatic way of viewing Christianity. I thought I was right all of the time, and didn’t care what others thought, well, I did, I just wanted them to agree with me. I would gladly end a potential friendship because in my opinion they weren’t worthy of being my friend. My standards, in other words, were just TOO high.
God, he’s the one who really helped me in this area. He highlighted that sin in people’s lives was just the symptom of pain and in some cases, ignorance. I wasn’t to judge the girl who slept around, or someone who was addicted to drugs. Applying that was easier to do with the girl who slept around, than the person who used drugs or who just had a bad attitude. I had pity for these people but I was more concerned with maintaining what I thought was my own decency. I discovered that my pride and judgements were just as bad as theirs. It was just a different sin, and a religious spirit tried to overcome me. You can tell a religious spirit by it’s tendency to tear others and even yourself down in the guise of “holiness”. It leaves one feeling condemned rather than empowered to walk out being holy before God.
This is something I see in the Aspie community, the tendency to be dogmatic and stiff, or just so distracted by our own interests that we don’t pay His calls of love much attention. No matter what anything has told you dear one, you are so loved by God. He is real, and wanting to be a part of everything in your life. He is the giver of all good things. You are worth more than GOLD to Him. He’s more obsessed with you than you could ever be with a person or subject, and he knows just what reaches you. He can and will help you become like Him. This life should not be about becoming more NT, or a better Aspie, it should be about being in love with God, and letting his love change us into something looking like Him. It’s the only reason why today I can hug people without hesitation have the courage to just live my life with purpose.
“And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” 2 Corinthians 3:18.
I pray this blog reaches someone. If you have any comments or questions, please share them.